Happy New Year!

So I'm really slacking! It's a new year and I'm already back in school! It is going to be a really busy and crazy semester. A lot of fun things ahead though! We have a mental health fieldwork this semester, which I'm very interested in and we also find out our level II placements!! All of this building up to a crazy summer! It should be fun!

Almost December...

I can't believe that December is almost here. And that means I've been doing this for almost a year. It has been a wonderful little adventure for me especially in the beginning when I was writing a lot. I've been a little lazy over the past few months! Sorry. But these months have been filled! School started off great, but soon became a mess of confusion and business. I've never been one to stress about school and I found myself right in the middle of it. Yuck! Not were I like to be. But it just helped me re-focus on why I am where I am and what in the world I am doing. The messiness of life, school in general, always keeps me looking ahead to what the real purpose is and the greater things that are to come. Not just the things that may or may not happen tomorrow, but what will happen and is promised by our Savior. I've gained an eternal perspective! I never really knew what it meant before I actually found it. I've always heard the words "eternal perspective" but never had a grasp of the concept. That is what the past few months have been for me. Learning what it means to have that eternal perspective. Not just looking to what is going on now, but focusing on the truth that the little things of this world really aren't that big a deal. Lord has it under control and all I need to do is focus on things that are eternal. Building relationships with other, sharing the love Christ has given, trying to follow His example and glorifying Him.

Fresh look

Just when I think I'm losing my mind and feel like I'm not trusting God at all, He goes and reveals Himself so clearly and helps me to realize that I just have to stop focusing on the outward and what the world would see and focus on Him. In regards to the last post....God is ever so faithful. Not only do I feel like I'm trusting Him more now, He has allowed me to let go of even more of myself.

Trusting God?

So its been a while....let me catch you up on life. School is going well. Most of what we are learning is theory stuff and we don't see the application yet, which is frustrating at times. I do enjoy learning more about the different aspects of what I will actually be doing as an OT, but I am mostly enjoying my classmates. God has defiantly blessed this class with some amazing girls and I have become great friends with many of them. The are just wonderful girls! Outside of school things are good too. God is teaching me so much through relationships and the big thing I feel he is working is TRUSTING Him. It is so easy to say that I trust God especially when I am liking school, loving my classmates, and hanging out with an amazing godly man. And even when things aren't going so great I can say I trust God. When tests are difficult or other things are crazy I know God is control and can say I trust God. But just saying it doesn't always make it true. Just in the past day God has been pounding me with the questions "Do you REALLY trust me?", "Do you REALLY believe I have an amazing plan and want the best for you?" He brought about a situation a day or so ago that has really made me search my heart for the answers to these questions. All I'll say is that it was a relationship situation. Nothing terrible, bad or even hurtful. Just difficult. How can I be trusting God when my heart is screaming NO!? I desire with all that I am to fully trust the Lord and I defiantly want to in this situation because I believe He brought me to this relationship for a reason. I know He is sovereign in all things and all situations and most of me is okay with how things are, but the other part is so upset. I feel like I am letting Him down! I realize that the Lord uses situations like this to build and test my trust for even greater things to come. This is how He and I work together. This is how He teaches me best. I've been through it before, many times and God always has amazing outcomes. I'm just having a hard time focusing on that truth this time.

From My Journal

I'm not really a big journal person. That's why these blogs are always at random times and never regular:) But I try to keep a journal when I travel especially on missions so that I can look back and remember what God has done. I just want to share this one entry about the most amazing lesson God taught me on the trip to Trinidad. He is so good!

Trinidad 2008
8-14-08
I never knew the boldness that was inside me until I had to be in spiritual counseling all day long. I didn't have the words to say and defiantly not the scripture in my head to back it up. What in the world was I doing here? Maybe everybody else will step up and talk. Well, evidently God wanted me to talk. As soon as I opened my mouth I knew something stupid would come out. It didn't sound right when I went through it in my head. But somehow the words seemed to flow out easily. It absolutely was not me speaking, it was the Lord! I'm not that great at finding the right words, but throughout that entire day God continued to speak the right words for the right people and yes even scripture. I quoted scripture! The very last lady that we saw was probably the biggest challenge. She believed strongly that if you do good things and are a good person you will go to heaven. I shared the gospel with her and she keep referring to good works getting you into heaven. Somehow there were words coming out of my mouth for everything she said. Words to counter hers and to point her right back to it being all about Jesus. Halfway through she just looked and me and said 'ok'. I mean, what do you say to that? I knew she didn't understand, but God had something and honestly I can't tell you word for word what that was, but it made her really think. She still had many questions in her head and I could tell even though she kept saying 'ok, yeah, ok.' We did get to pray with her and I hope that she continues to ask questions and seek after God, the one and only Truth!
God will use us in amazing ways if we just stop putting Him in a box and telling Him what a terrible job He did when He created us. That is exactly what we do when we make excuses for why we can't do things. Just like me when I "knew" I couldn't spiritual counsel someone or teach the gospel to them. God will work out His plan and it will never return void! Let God do the work in you because He will work amazingly!! I pray that the Lord would continue to empty us all out and fill us up with His Holy Spirit, not that we be made any better, but that His gospel may be spread and above all else His mighty name glorified! What a blessing and humbling experience it is to be used by our Lord as a vessel to spread His love, mercy, and truth!! I just love Jesus!!

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." ~Acts 1:8

"Declare His glory among the nations His marvelous deeds among all peoples." ~Psalm 96:3

Back in the States!!

I just got back from my trip to Trinidad and I can hardly tell you how amazing it was!! We were there for 10 days staying in a ministry compound and setting up dental/PT/OT clinics at a local church. We arrived late friday night, unloaded, and tried to get some rest for the early morning to come. 5:45 everyday!! Hard to believe that I was up that early for anything, but it was defiantly a blessing! We had worship every morning at 6:15, then devotions and breakfast before we headed out for our clinic days. Clinic lasted from about 9-5 saturday, monday-thursday and a half day on friday. We also had worship after dinner each night. The last saturday we got to go to the beach which was amazing! We went to a little beach that was pretty much in a cove with mountains surrounding it! Beautiful. and yes I got burnt :( but in my defense I did put on 50 sun block. twice. Anyway, this is just a little glimpse of the trip. I'll share more later after I get all my thoughts together and get a little rest!! I actually started school today so things are crazy but let me just say God is amazing and completely faithful! I'll share stories soon!!

Right Where I Need To Be!!

Just recently (let's say the past two months) God has made me so comfortable right where I am in life. More specifically, where He has me in life. If you have been reading my past blogs you know my heart. Let's just get this part out there...yes...I'm single (still), coming off of a really badly ended relationship, all (let me repeat that) ALL of my close college friends are married and have started on there careers and the world would say "started there life". Here I am, still in school, not even dating. Well, that's perfect! (no sarcasm intended!!) God has helped me realize that this is perfect for me right now!! And those who know me know how much I desire to be in love and to have the company of the one the Lord has made to compliment me!!! But what they don't know (and I haven't understood) and God does, it that He has so much for me to learn about Him and myself before then. We always try to jump ahead in our lives just because everyone else is at a certain point. We try to rush through school, singleness, and whatever else! I think we need to remind ourselves how different God made each of us and how God can reveal so much to us when we don't have responsibilities of a family or career. I never understood the joy of being single (and in my case still in school) until now. I've been able to to listen and learn from myself and who God wants me to be. What are my desires? What do I want out of life? What are my passions? God may have been revealing these things to me since I was born, but just now I have been able to let go and see. I have realized that I have to understand myself and my life first. I need to be a strong person on my own, with my own desires and passions, and know who God is for me and what He is in my life!! That way when God does bring that someone into my life.....I don't disappear!! I'm still who God has molded me to be and the man God has for me will compliment that and our relationship can glorify God that much more!!

I look back over the past year and I see how much God has done in my life! How much I have grown into the women God wanted me to be. I've had no relationship responsibilities, only me to focus on and learn about and see what God desires for me to be. It's really amazing and adventurous and mysterious!!!

I can never thank God enough for loving me enough to lead me right where I need to be!! I know God will reveal the next step in my life right when I need it! Right now I'm just enjoying each moment and getting to know God more intimately for myself!